tday i realise how difficult it is to have true friends. i rmb sec teacher say before for guys, u will only meet true friends in sec sch and army. how true this is.

cant rmb how long since i got so upset before. thought my friend after one year shld somehow noe my character well enough. they shld noe its time to stop when i give tht sian face. i mean i admit i cant hide my feelings well...if i really feel irritated abt something i will really show it till its so obvious. but on the other hand, i'm not tht type tht cannt take jokes also wad. the normal fooling ard and kbing each other i also nver once flare up. but there is just somethings that u hate it ALOT when ppl joke abt it. i mean this 'something' differs from ppl to ppl la. is like these jokes are damn hurtful to tht person. i dnt understand why sometimes in order to kb each other, they tend to chose the most hurtful one to tease on others. like tday how shengjun keep suaning how jerome have mild obesity diagnosed during the checkup. its like wtf la. tht day he tell us abt his checkup he alrdy say he damn sad liao and u still bring up this to suan him. its like hurting his pride la. though he still laugh but the laugh is like damn awkward lo.

when u make this kind of joke is the same as how u tease orphans have no parents. its damn hurtful la. cant u guys be abit more sensitive? theres nth wrong to jokke ard..but the context of the joke as well as how u say it (ur tone, ur expression) shows whether u really wan it to be meant as a joke or u wanted to make use of this 'joke' to hurt others.

i guess everyone must have hated a specific thing tht someone used it to kb u. so nxt time just put urself in their shoes before u used all those hurtful words. they might not show it in their face cos nt everyone like me cannt hide emotions, so just judge urself whether u went overboard. if u dnt noe if u cross the line thn might as well dnt say.

yea well back to me now....

so tday was actually a great day for me. cos our last day of sch is cross country! yea so we went to marina sand there and run our dist lo...and the mood is really very gd la...damn high. then after tht went to SAF first ever open house and its damn cool to see the tanks and guns. manage to hold a rifle and shoot some target. BTW, its damn loud till we have to wear earphones...and the rifle will rebound bk when u fire..haha damn cool.

yea so everything was cool only until we went plaza to eat at mahatten. as usual, i make alot of tenses, grammer etc mistakes in my sentence when i speak...so then kheng hien and geok soon start to gl lo. cos last time i made a mistake saying the 'lightning damn loud'..yea then they start to bring tht up. at first i was ok with it la..cos i mean i make mistakes in my sentence alot of time then kind of so call used to them teasing me. but this time they keep going on and on and on. thn is like...zzzz

u noe how it feels like if ur friends keep laughing at whatever u speak when u make just a slightest bit of grammer of prounaciation error? it really destroy ur self confidence. and is destroy alot ok! now i cant even talk properly in front of the class. last time my pw i was one of the best male speaker somemore. then after they keep teasing, i'm like nd to think damn long before i speak to prevent making stupid error. i feel so scared to even talk to them casually!

yea so bk to mahatten..so they go on and on then i damn irritated so as usual, i give the sian face cos i thought they shld noe once i show tht face they must stop. but somehow i was wrong. they keep continue to tease even i nver talk or laugh for the next few minutes. thn the girls ask thm why i suddenly so quiet then they say 'oh cos he dnt dare to speak in front of us'. hah..after all the sian face i shown for almost an hour, they still think i'm ok with it. thn its from tht moment i start to think how much do my friends really noe me. i always thought geok soon noes me but hah..

maybe its just me. but personally, i define true friend as a person who really care abt u. and i mean really really care. i'm tht type of person when i feel tht someone is my close friend i will treat him damn well..i guess? but at least i noe i care abt him alot. thts for sure. but somehow,  CLOSE friendship shldn't be a one side thing. thats one thing i hate abt. alot of guys find it very gay or disgraceful to show care to their friend. wait till ur friend die and be gone forever thn u go say how much u care for him lo. friendship is just like relationship, imagine u are the guy that keep caring abt ur gf but ur gf just plainly accept ur care without repaying u...u think u wont sian meh? u confirm will think whether is one sided anot.

well whatever the case, i managed to make close clique friends in sec sch and a super super close friend in sec sch! haha..so i'm quite lucky cos its really really damn difficult to meet a true good friend in ur life tht noe u very well. fate i guess? hope army will have more close friends bah.

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